Sweet disposition

Hey guys.
Sorry for the lack of updates.
I haven't been blogging properly, I know.
But please bear with me.
I'll be back

REAL
SOON!

WITH LOVE.

Currents that pull us down

I need the strength to hold on..

but

where

is

it?

Quicksand

Dear mom, dad and sister,

I apologise for every strain that I gave,

for every disappointment that I have made,

this was nothing that we wanted,

but I am here,

writing this,

feeling worthless,

hopeless,

soul-less

If only my heart was capacious,

that I could contain all of these hurt

and grasp

happiness

that was

always a stranger

to me

Mom,

you've did your best for me

I'm sorry for all the tears you've shed because of me

Everytime I look at you in your eyes

I see the biggest,

most bold and beautiful sunset that

ever existed

You are a perfect portrait,

the mightiest light

at the end of the tunnel

but I am now

at the bottom

of the sea and

I can't see any form of light

or a hand to hold me

Dad,

it never felt like I was your princess

but I felt your golden dreams

your midnight aches

your never ending love

and sacrifices

I'm sorry I never really made you proud

each failure was a break in my bone

and no matter how hard I tried

it seemed like I

was never enough

Sister,

you are stronger than you think you are

and I am nothing compared to you

I am not as smart as you

not as bubbly as you

not as perfect as you

I'm sorry for always being in your limelight

I shouldn't have

it wasn't where I belonged

and all of those hurt

I have inflicted towards you

secretly, wounded in your heart,

please forgive me

and I hope they would

mend in time

These tears are like the rain outside,

the weather drawing out

the raindrops falling down

cleansing the dirt

on the streets,

and my crippled wings

do me no good

My feelings are now washed ashore,

waiting for remembrance,

my body now broken,

tainted

and sore,

left at a bottomless pit

These sorrows will no longer

be a burden

or linger

they will fade away

with my smile,

my soul,

into the cold shimmering air

of little whispers

saying,

"Thank you, I love you."

Crumble

Someone please just hold me and let me breathe again..

Pretend you're alive

Oh God, why must everything hurt so much right now?